A common challenge family caregivers face is finding ways to assist a senior loved one who denies they need help. This conflict can present many obstacles for both adult children and parents, ranging from emotional challenges, logistical difficulties, and, at times, even a strain on family relationships.
The core of caring for aging parents is ensuring their safety, comfort, and well-being. This article will highlight aspects of this caregiving process, some of which include:
- Understanding resistance on the part of aging parents
- Effective communication strategies
- Cultivating trust and cooperation
- Exploring memory care options
- Addressing financial concerns
In learning how to successfully deal with stubborn aging parents, adult children can better navigate initial resistance and begin to take steps to get them the care they need.
Understanding the Psychology of Resistance in Aging Parents
There are various reasons why aging parents might refuse help. Some of them include:
- Fear of losing independence
- Not wanting to be a burden on anyone
- Being viewed as incompetent
- Afraid of change
It can be especially hard for people suffering from memory loss to accept the reality of their situation—when they’re no longer being able to do what they once did with physical efficiency, mental vigor, and ease. In learning how to deal with aging parents who refuse help, it’s helpful to comprehend the emotional and psychological factors at play, such as:
- Feelings of vulnerability
- Mistrust of strangers and a new environment
- Anxiety about new change and situations
- Worries about being in an unfamiliar place with unknown people
Resistance on the part of aging parents is often multifaceted, which is why understanding their reasoning might help in easing a child’s frustrations. Recognizing this psychological rationality can cultivate compassion, ease frustrations, and help approach the delicate topic of memory care with understanding.
Talking to Aging Parents: Effective Communication Strategies
Approaching the conversation about senior care with resistant aging parents can seem daunting, but you can streamline anxiety and stress by applying effective communication tactics. First and foremost, choose the right time and place to have this conversation, ideally in a quiet and comfortable setting. Second, it’s imperative to speak in a calm and respectful tone with kindness and compassion.
Additional techniques for enhanced communication can also include:
- Giving full attention and avoiding disruptions
- Validating their feelings and fears
- Using “I” statements to express your concerns
- Framing your concerns from your perspective to avoid blame
Furthermore, it may help to involve other family members, whether it’s enlisting the help of siblings or relatives. Some children may even find it useful to include medical and mental health professionals for better communication. Regardless of who is a part of this conversation, remember the importance of a unified approach and message.
Building Trust and Encouraging Cooperation with Aging Parents: Beginning Helping Steps
When caring for an elderly parent who needs extra assistance, you can start with small, non-intrusive assistance, which you can gradually build up to be more substantial. Examples of minor beginning-stage tasks for caregivers can be:
- Grocery shopping
- House cleaning
- Picking up and organizing medications
- Helping write to-do lists
- Keeping track of appointments
Involve your aging parents in decision-making as much as possible and respect their preferences, providing options to give them a sense of control. Collaborate on care plan options and work together to create an overall agenda that meets their standards, expectations, and wishes.
While caring for aging parents, don’t forget to highlight the benefits of accepting help—emphasizing an improved quality of life, greater general safety, and an environment where needs can more easily be met. When approaching the beginning stages of memory care assistance, make sure to stress how your aging parents will have more time for enjoyable activities and hobbies versus spending time on daily chores.
Exploring Care Options with Aging Parents
There are a multitude of senior care options available, such as:
- Part- or full-time in-home caregivers
- Adult day care programs
- Respite stays at a senior living community
- Assisted living and memory care communities
Assisted living facilities can vary in scope, with some including specialized memory care neighborhoods. Evaluating the right kind of care is a central part of that decision. Take the following into consideration:
- Physical, cognitive, and emotional needs
- Levels of care offered
- Expertise in health conditions
- Proximity of services to family
Addressing Senior Living Financial Concerns
The costs involved in caring for aging parents is a big factor for children and families. Some initial ways to pay for senior living consist of:
- Medicare
- Medicaid
- Long-term care insurance
- Veterans’ benefits
- Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI)
Additionally, some communities offer low-cost or even free services, ranging from respite care to transportation assistance to home-delivered meals. Creating a long-term plan that anticipates future needs is vital when caring for aging parents. To enhance smart budgeting, you can also seek advice from elder care advisors and even consult professionals on financial guidance that maximizes resources.
Tips on Transitioning Aging Parents Senior Living
The move to an assisted living or memory care community needs to be a gradual one, especially with those who are resistant. Some tips for easing the transition to professional care include:
- A gradual introduction to the memory care residence
- Short visits with tours to the new environment
- A familiarization with memory care staff
- Explaining daily schedules and routines
- Bringing personal items to create a familiar atmosphere
- Maintaining regular visits and communication through calls and video chats
Read more about preparing for the move to senior living.
Assisted Living at Sunrise Senior Living
Each resident has different needs, which is why assisted living at Sunrise is personally tailored with an individualized service plan, which captures seniors’ unique preferences and desires. Some assisted living services at Sunrise consist of:
- Support with dressing, bathing, and grooming
- Medication management
- Transportation assistance
- Delivering a morning newspaper
Whether it’s catering to specific culinary offerings or providing living spaces that are stylish and promote safety, Sunrise caters to the needs of aging parents with sensitivity and compassion.
Memory Care at Sunrise Senior Living
Sunrise’s memory care residents benefit from highly personalized care from experienced team members in an intimate, secure environment. Our tailored programs and services offer innovative therapies and tailored engagement plans, some of which include:
- Cognitive exercises
- Social activities
- A professional staff trained in dementia care techniques
- Thoughtful programming that cultivates purpose and joy
Since the needs of aging parents in memory care vary, Sunrise offers Terrace Club Neighborhoods to those experiencing mild to moderate memory loss and Reminiscence Neighborhoods, which are personalized for those with advanced forms of dementia and Alzheimer’s. Sunrise acknowledges the importance of family members in the care process, support groups and regular communication from team members.
In approaching the challenging reality of how to deal with aging parents who refuse help, the first step is understanding the reasoning behind the initial resistance. From there, caregivers want to implement effective communication strategies and the gradual introduction of help through small tasks. By easing your loved one comfortably into a new environment, their physical, emotional, and social needs can best be met.
To discuss your senior care options, contact us today to tour a Sunrise community near you.